Thursday, June 16, 2011

Island Night Patrol Vol. 1

I decided to ride around the neighborhood late last night to see what the Hi-Tech guys encounter at night.  Remember, they are actually City Cops with badges, so they probably encounter way more cool things than I did.  Here are three highlights:

1)  Driving down Broadway the cop comes across someone on the side of the room who either a) doesn't have friends b) has bad friends or c) was dropped off drunk after an alien abduction.  The picture is to the right. I believe this gentleman got a free ride home in the back of that van, because the city cops are nice like that.

2) Corner of 9th and Soulard I see two women who aren't exactly walking straight.  I walk over to them to ask if they are ok and if I can do anything to help.  Maybe they are suspicious of well-dressed studs like me or something because Ms. Not-as-drunk was not very nice to me.  It also could have been the fact that she was holding all of her friend's weight up.  Ms. More-than-drunk replies "no we're fine, I'm just trying to pee".  Hmm, I say to myself.  With my quick wit, I reply, "umm, Miss, you're on a street corner".  To which I of course get "yeah, I know".  Guess I should have expected that.  Cop walks up to them:

"Everything alright, Ladies."
"Yea, I'm just peeing"
"Umm, Ma'am, you can't do that"
"No, it's fine. (Looks up) OMG, you're a cop aren't you?"
"Yes, ma'am I am"
"I'm so sorry" (as she pulls her shorts back up)

At this point, the people who for some reason let them walk in the first place came by to pick them up.
3) Watched two ladies walk out of a bar on 12th, one of whom brought a new meaning to the term to-go cup.  The plastic cup musta been 32oz or bigger.  She may be the woman of my dreams. Aside, from Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama of course.